Why I love summer but also it scares me

Dress ASOS

Sliders Primark

Bag Primark

Ah summer, the friend I can't wait to see, the friend I've been pining for during the long, LONG dark winter, when even the blossom had snow on. Then suddenly, it's here. It's here in the long nights trying to fall into a sweaty sleep and bright mornings spent getting up at 5:30am to water the garden whilst yawning and listening to Woman's Hour. It's going to Sainsbury's on my lunch break and finally finally finding that picota cherries are back (my personal crack). It's walking in the garden with no shoes on, swinging in my egg chair and getting lost in a book.

But with all this comes a tinge of sadness, a bit of anxiety. Pressure to ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, pictures on Instagram of whimsical walks through wildflowers, holidays to the Amalfi Coast. I'm eating crumpets and watching Love Island. I'm not going to every festival Bristol has to offer, I'm too hot to take a day trip to the beach. Sometimes I do want to have a BBQ or go on a spontaneous night out. But a lot of the time I just want to sit on the sofa in my bra and cycling shorts, talking to my cat. The summer slips on by, and I feel like I'm wasting it. Fomo of nothing and everything.

I feel like this is amplified this year with this amazing weather. When the weather in summer is still a bit shit, it's sad but also it's a tiny bit comforting. I can tell myself I would totally do all these things if it was sunny, but it's not so boo hoo I can't.

But then...my favourite things aren't going to pub gardens or to festivals, not any more. My favourite things are leaving work and it still being light, buying a punnet of peaches for 99p, not having to wear bastard tights. Small things, but important things.

I just enjoy it being summer. Just the fact that it is summer, I like.